cage rattler

Jun 27

A PAGE FROM MY LATE NIGHT JOURNAL

Cage Rattler: A Poem by Heather Stout

left and then right
is where my head keeps turning
thoughts upon thoughts
my skull is still burning

why do I care
why even question
the looks say it all
never wanted this attention

fire, fire
anxiety is a full flame
it’s taking over
everyone thinks it’s a game

roaring over me
like a tidal wave at sea
about to be drowned
by who I used to be

why can’t I let go
why can’t I just be
the me that is now
the me I’m supposed to be

she held me down
like I was a disgrace
how dare I be an embarrassment
looking like this in her place

she sees weakness
where there used to be strength
I see resilience
and wars fought at length

past me doesn’t make the rules
she didn’t fight the battles
there is no way she could know
all the trials I had to tackle

throughout the smoke
after the flames clear
is where you’ll find me
tending to the wounds I hold near

this is the me now
this is who I’m supposed to be
I’m a cage rattler
safe means nothing to me

Thank you for reading my late night thoughts from my journal. Stay tuned to see what page I’m tearing out next.

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My name is Heather Stout, welcome to my little digital home! I live and work in sunny Austin, Texas with my three large, goofy pups. I love hosting, decorating, and creating lasting memories with the people who matter most to me. Most days when I'm not crafting or designing, you can find me hiking with my pups, catching up on my favorite shows, or commanding my kitchen dance floor. I've also been known to craft some scrumptious, spur-of-the-moment cocktails! 

My name is Heather Stout, welcome to my little digital home! I live and work in sunny Austin, Texas with my three large, goofy pups. I love hosting, decorating, and creating lasting memories with the people who matter most to me. Most days when I'm not crafting or designing, you can find me hiking with my pups, catching up on my favorite shows, or commanding my kitchen dance floor. I've also been known to craft some scrumptious, spur-of-the-moment cocktails! But let's go deeper...

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